Happy Singles’ Awareness Day! Even the cafeteria at work is having some guitar player in to “serendade” those eating in the caf with “romantic” songs. Yes. Because nothing says Romance like cafeteria food…

One of the nicest things about not having cable is not being subjected to the myriad of crappy Valentine’s Day commercials. “Buy her chocolate/jewellery/flowers to show how much you love her! The giving of expensive material goods is the only way to show how much you care!” Ugh.

“Well, sure,” you say. “Of course you don’t like Valentine’s Day, you bitter, boyfriend-less bitch! If you had a boyfriend, you’d be complaining that he DIDN’T get you flowers/chocolates/whatever…”

Maybe. But, I doubt it. I’ve always (like, since 2nd/3rd grade) found V-Day to be a pointless exercise in blatant consumerism, with little or no emotional heart to it whatsoever. ” Oh, I love you, TODAY. Because it’s Valentine’s Day. And that is the only day of the year that I can truly express my love! Let’s light some candles and make tender love to each other all through the night.” Ugh.

Anyway, I guess my disenchantment with the whole V-Day thing is a result of my parents (and for this I am ever thankful). They’ve always been apathetic about the whole Valentine’s experience. I remember being fairly young and asking Dad why he hadn’t bought Mom any flowers/chocolates, etc.

“Why would I do that?” he asked.

“Well, ’cause it’s Balentine’s!” (Note: As a very young child, I constantly mixed up my ‘B’s and my ‘V’s. So, for example, people didn’t paly Volleyball, they played BolleyVall. Quite the difference from the articulate, well-spoken individual I am today. ^-^)

I’ll always remember his response, because it’s so representative of my parents and their relationship.

“I don’t need a special day to show your Mom that I love her,” Dad said. “Because I make sure to tell her every day.”

That, my friends, is awesome. And true. Even though they bicker and (sometimes intentionally) annoy each other, I know that they do care for each other very much. Mom doesn’t expect gifts on Valentine’s Day because she doesn’t need an object to prove that he loves her, and Dad doesn’t buy her anything because he knows she knows. After 25 years of marriage, they may not have the great passionate love anymore (or maybe they do; I’ve moved, I don’t know what they do when I’m not around), but they have a great, loving relationship.

And that’s why I dislike V-Day. Because “love” shouldn’t be reduced to objects or declarations. It should be quietly and tangibly shown, each day. If you need a grand gesture to prove your love, then, personally, I think there’s something wrong with your relationship. This is probably why my Mom blames herself for “ruining me for men”. Yes, well done, Mother. ^-^.

Also, I am very cheap. I don’t like spending money on things that I think are useless. Ranking quite high on this list: flowers and cards. I also don’t like spending money on jewellery, simply because I never really wear any. Chocolates…um, yeah, I’ll spend money on those, but not on the expensive, heart-shaped, V-Day stuff; chocolate is a year-round treat.

I remember hating to waste money on those stupid Valentine’s Day cards we would pass out at school. First of all, I didn’t like most of my classmates. Certainly not enough to spend money on them. Secondly, the process was skewed; you HAD to give EVERYONE a card, because “it wasn’t fair for little Bradley to be left out!” even though he was a tool and smelt like cheese all the time. 7-year-old me didn’t want him to “be my Valentine!”. And people always spelt my name wrong on the cards, which pissed me off (thanks again, Mom).

Ladies, I blame you for the continuance of this ridiculous farce of a “holiday”. You’ve latched on to this fabricated celebration of sentiment and created an industry based on exploiting insecurity. Women who need objects to validate their partners’ love are the driving force behind this “holiday” – it makes them feel less insecure, for at least a few days. Valentine’s Day also preys on the insecurities of single women. “Look,” the commercials imply, “Isn’t it great to be in a relationship and have a man who can buy things for you? What’s so wrong with you that you don’t have this?” And so those single women go out and they spend MORE money on clothes and products, because god forbid you should be alone NEXT V-Day, and you need to SPEND MONEY to look attractive to the opposite sex. The companies continue to produce this schlock because we let them, and that’s what’s wrong with…well, society is too broad a term, I think, but yeah, I guess.

I’ve never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, and I’ve never felt that I was worth any less as an individual (The above is probably why. Too much effort, too little gain). I just think that Valentine’s Day sends the wrong message to those who ARE influenced by the media and the hype.

So, in conclusion: Valentine’s Day sucks no matter which way you spin it. It’s a Hallmark holiday, and not even an inclusive one like Easter (Ok, you may argue that Easter isn’t inclusive because it’s a Christian holiday, but I’m willing to bet you that even little Hindu children eat chocolate eggs around Eastertime.). Whether you’re a lonely single woman listening to the sound of your biological clock ticking, or a long-married man having to waste a few weeks pay on a tacky piece of jewellery, or a parent having to spend $10 on a box of corporate-branded cards (because Dora the Explorer is all about V-Day) . . . it’s one of the most irritating days of the year.

Well, I think I’ve made myself seem like a crazed, bitter spinster enough for today. If only I could put this much effort into ACTUAL thought and work…

Be sure to watch for my March 14th post: Why “Steak and a Blowjob Day” should be a real holiday!